| hey fellaz/girliez |
[Aug. 7th, 2004|11:17 pm] |
hey ppl, sorry i havent written in a couple days i havent had the time, ya know how life is with a bf lol. well i went to a baseball game today that was fun. i havent talked to i am still upset that he would do acid, well this cant be long bc i need to go to bed. long day. well i am bored nothing really happened that was interesting so yeah i really have nothing to write. WAIT, yeah i do. this bitch i hate i wont say names but she fucking slapped me in the back of the head and pulled my god damn hair, i was so pissed but i am not a fighter so i wasnt gonna do anything, and she thinks i am a slut but how can i be a slut if i am sleeping with only one person? idk can u answer that. well thats wut went down so comment if you like.
<3 love Me |
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| makes me sad |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|11:43 pm] |
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well today from after what i wrote earlier, i got a phone call from someone i havent talked to for a long time so we hung out, i met him at memorial park and we sat there for a lil bit then we walked down the street to hunny dew and i remembered my other friend who i havent talked to for a while works at the redemption center right next to it so i went to see him bc i havent seen or talked to him for like a month or so, then he told me and my friend brian that he did acid and it really upsets me bc this kid is the coolest kid and i told him that i hate when people do hardcore drugs like that ad he kept saying how his brain felt like mush and i got upset bc i dont want to see this kid ruin his life bc of some drugs, now thw thing is i am not supposed to see this kid bc my bf said so but i was right there and i needed a ciggarette so i went and got one, i almost started crying when he told me that bc when ur on drugs you do stupid things and i dont want to see this kid end up in the hospital or worse got forbid i say it but dead. and i am not supposed to care bc he isnt my man but i do and its hard to just sit and watch him do this to himself bc he smokes weed to, and he didnt used to really but now he becoming a big stoner and i dont like it i dont mind the weed just the other stuff is gonna make me say w/e he is gonna do wut he wants and i dont want to sit around and watch him kill himself slowely and just leave him alone, and i know that there is only one person that i can really talk to bc we are both emotional people and if you help me through this situation i promise i will owe you big time so i hope ur reading this bc by watching him do this o himself makes me want to just give up on life bc me and had so much in common and if he dies who am i gonna talk to? bc i can only talk to 2 people really about my feelings and shit bc they are emotional like i am and in touch with there emotions unlike alot of people in this devilish town that i hate so much. then me and drove my other friend home then he drove me home and said he wanted to isolate himself from everyone so he was gonna get his bike and just go. which made me even more upset bc he knows that he can always talk to me about anything and i hoppe he really knows that i am here for him no matter wut i dont want to see him waste his life on drugs, it pains me to hear him talk about it but thats all he could talk about today, well idk i feel like killing myself bc of alot of shit this and the fact that my bc hates spending time with me and likes to cheat on me but w/e i am just gonna pack my shit and go i dont know where ill just go. |
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| feeling a bit better |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|01:35 pm] |
good morning people who r reading this. today so far i woke up ate some cereal, and got online, my mother is wanting me to make some party invites for my baby brother's bday party. well today i do not know wut i am doing yet unless something just comes up. i wanna say thanx to my sweetheart tiff for making my journal pretty lol. bc i didnt know how to change the color and wutnot. but anyway, so wuts going on inside my head you people want to know if ur reading this well i have a bf and i like him alot, but there is someone a female might i say that i have alot in common with that i dont talk to very often that i would like to talk to about alot of things but she is never on and neither the my baby boi. well i will write later to let ya know how my day went bc there isnt much to say now but there will be later
~love me~ |
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| thinking about it! |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|12:12 pm] |
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hey ppl this is my first time writing but here goes. today i woke up called my bf, got dressed went to his house and hung out all day. we got into alot of fight but silly little ones, his friend was there so we couldnt really talk about anything and i am the type of person that needs to talk about their feelings or it will bottle up inside and destroy something. so ima tell ya wut went down today. we watched a movie went upstairs took a nap. woke up went out for a lil, looking for someone but couldnt find them, went back to his house and sat there for a lil, then went back out picked up his other friend bought some stuff and went back home and chilled. then they did their normal thing and i did take a lil of wut they had but w/e then i feel asleep and when i woke up they were playing vidoe games, i hate when they do haha. then we got into a fight and i said some things i shouldnt have but i did and i am terribly sorry for wut i said. but i was angry bc he cannot spend anytime alone with me. and then the other day i heard that he cheated on me 2 times and i got pissed and he lied to me and said he didnt when i knew he did then he confessed the next day, and he kissed the 2 ppl that i hate most in life and i swear if i was a fighter i would fight but i am not so i am not going to. but when he told me it made me feel like shit and want to kill myself bc i love my bf with all my heart and always will nothing will change that, but i had a razor blade in my hand and he took it away, i guess he really does care about me. and tonight i kept bringing up the 2 girls he kissed and he cried, he seemed like he was, and i felt really bad bc i the 2 of us really do love eachtother but i dont like the fighting, and if it keeps up i dont know wut will happen to me, i know he hates to hear it but he is the best thing that has happen to me and i dont want to loose him and if i do i think i might go crazy and kill myself.and then tonight he drove me home and we kissed and i went inside and started writing this. well now it is time for me to go to bed. someone help me! |
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